Detecting Obstacles and Clearing Them

Ever push on an objective or goal and find resistance?  It could be something related to your business or personal life or anything such as fitness and athletics.

Some initial resistance should be expected. After all, this is something new you are trying to accomplish and it needs to be explained, understood, incorporated into our mindset.  But sometimes obstacles arise -- disguised as slow progress, perhaps even stagnation, frustration.

Do you push harder or step back a moment to analyze the path you are on?

I have found when this happens there is something about the issue that I'm doing all wrong. The 'all wrong' part is cleverly disguised!  In my mind the path I am on is totally right!  The natural tendency is to start forcing it -- "I'm sure if I just worked harder, longer, stronger I can persevere!".  While that may be true in some circumstances, the majority of the time that thought should sound a warning bell in your head.

Think about:

• If the resistance is coming from another person or organization, are you goals in conflict with someone else's goals?
• Put yourself in their shoes.  Have you really "walked a mile in their moccasins"? 
• Find common ground.  Usually both parties want a resolution as quickly as possible.  Be creative in thinking of alternative approaches for solutions.  Can compromises be made that still achieve the goals of both parties? 
• Don't get stuck focusing on differences of approach and focus on closure and resolution.  Be optimistic and positive toward achieving the goals of both parties. Be pleasant yet resolute. 
• This is a good time to remember one of Steven Covey's 7 Laws -- focus first on seeking to understand and secondly on being understood. 
• If this is something you are trying to achieve by yourself, analyze what part seems to be out of balance or rhythm with the rest.  Where are you feeling unsteady or uneasy? 

With a little analysis and perhaps some discussion with others you can zero in on what is 'all wrong' and plot a path to get it totally right. Working harder is not always working smarter. 

The Most Powerful Phrase in the English Language

"I am not afraid."

I believe this is the most powerful phrase because of its ability to change lives -- the lives of each and every one of us.

I've written about fear before and it never stops amazing me how often our fears get in our way of our happiness.  It could be a little thing -- "I won't swim in the ocean because I am afraid a shark might bite me" -- or a really big thing -- "I am afraid of dying."

This is easily the #1 sentiment I hear on a daily basis -- someone who lets their inner fears and doubts control aspects of their lives that, from the outside, seem ridiculous.

In watching the Olympics in Rio it's evident to see that the athletes have trained on this, which some call the mental side of sports, and is without doubt known as the most difficult challenge of any competitive sport.  As we watch we are thinking, "Is he going to choke?".

The reason athletes train on this is because no matter how great their physical prowess is, if they cannot perform under pressure they cannot achieve.

Are our lives any different?  We are undoubtedly on a different scale of pressure, but the process and results are the same -- if we don't train ourselves through the habit of facing up to our fears, we will not achieve. Worse yet, we will have regret.  The disappointment in ourselves and the resulting regret will start permeating other parts of our lives, affect our inner view of ourselves, and put boundaries on our abilities to achieve in the future.

In our daily living, sometimes we need to tell ourselves -- NO MATTER THE OUTCOME, I AM GOING TO GIVE IT MY ALL.

I've read that if you had a choice between remembering everything in the past and remembering nothing, most people would choose to remember nothing.  To not be encumbered by the past.  To start each day with a fresh outlook with renewed energy and full of hope for the future.

Fear is a habit.  Kick it.

Courage - What is it and how do you get it?

And, perhaps more importantly, why does it desert us at times?

Some people will say that to have courage is to have heart, and I don't disagree with that thought. But that doesn't address the fundamental concept of how courage/heart is obtained, especially in times of intense stress.

When I think of courage I think first of commitment.  You have to be willing to commit your entire psyche to the task at hand -- your entire mind, your entire body, and even that intangible called your soul. Commitment means there is no room left for fear, uncertainty, and doubt.  You haven't eliminated those snarly and sneaky derailing emotions, but you have pushed them to the side with your commitment.  There is simply no room left for them in your current state of being.

How is this done?

When you wholly commit to something, you start by creating sparkling clarity of intent -- think of it as showing your mind what it is you want to achieve.  Your subconscious mind deals with images and pictures best -- this is easily demonstrated by having a person walk in the room wearing a scowl or a big grin -- you know right away if that person is angry or happy with no conscious thought process.
To show your mind what it is you want to achieve, visualize it in your mind's eye with as much detail as you can muster.  It also helps to verbalize your goal, using emotion. Emotions helps engage the rest of the senses, the nerves, and muscles into the vision.  You may want to have a "power move" to engage your emotions along the right track -- this was a technique I learned in sales training.  One of my favorite power moves is Rafa Nadal's leap with a fist pump.  Every cell in his body is engaged!

I mentioned earlier the concept of "state of being".  I hope now you can see that the commitment you have just made is engagement of your entire self.  It's deep in your body's fibers and will not desert you.  You can practice going into this state to make it easier to achieve in times of stress.

Are you willing to commit to your goals?  When you do, it opens up a door to other life tools -- gives you a different perspective, reduces the mind's clutter, invites fulfillment to your journey.

Feeling Somewhat Removed? Tune In to Your Inner Energy

Sometimes we feel somewhat removed -- from the present, from what is going on around us, from the direction we are moving in, even from the people we love.  That may be a signal that you are trying to resolve something in your life -- whether it be in your job, your family, your personal growth.  As you work through your thoughts and feelings, be deliberate and use these times to tune into your creativity, your imagination, your motivations -- the result can be an awakening of your inner energy. In fact, your feeling of being somewhat 'removed' may be because you are blocking your energy source.  As a result you are likely sapping and draining your energy, whereas it would be more beneficial to use it to feel stronger and clearer!

Once you've tapped into this secret source of gold, you will see why many people use meditation to connect with it.

The Importance of Connecting Our Journeys

How many times have we read about someone who committed suicide and the family and friends said if they had only known the person was struggling they would have taken extra steps to be there and engage with the person, and somehow to help.   That raises the age-old question -- do you ever really know someone, know what is in their heart?  We may not really know what is in someone's heart, but we should take the time to really know someone as best we can, and to try to understand their thoughts, feelings, and points of view.

Personal relationships have great importance as we go through our journeys.  It's something that is difficult to measure, as it impacts both sides of the relationship, and can be very subtle.  They are MEANINGFUL.  Many have written about searching for meaning, why not start with the person right next to you.  You can create meaning by being meaningful to someone.

My challenge for you today -- reach out to someone and do something small but meaningful.  It might be a light touch on the arm, asking how they are doing and really listening for some keywords in their answer to spark a conversation; whatever it is, make it personal, they need to know and feel the connection.  You'll be surprised how good it makes YOU feel as well.  Let's travel together.

What's your life pulse? Thinking from the heart will find it.

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:

When we read these powerful words, and remember how they were so beautifully set to music by Seeger and others, we often think of the passing time of our lives -- a time to be born, to die, to build up, to break down, to laugh, to weep, to mourn, to dance, and other phases and transitions we experience.

Today I challenge you to think of these phases and transitions from inside your heart, not what is going on around you and about you.  If we think from inside our hearts, we lose the concept of past and future and focus intently on the here and now.  Our hearts are very intune to the present.  We use the word 'pulse' to describe the frequency of our heart beats, and the rhythm and speed of our pulse signals us to how we are feeling and experiencing life at the present moment.

Rhythms are found everywhere, most noticeably with a tide or a river.  The rhythm of water is said to "flow".  Our blood is also said to "flow" -- doctors say that our blood flows through the heart and the body.

Thinking from the heart causes us to really experience and feel the present moment, and to realize how precious each heartbeat is, how defined and exact and purposeful it is right this minute, and what a great mystery the future is.

Divesting oneself of "holds" - can you sense the power that creates?

As Whitman reminds us, the act of 'divesting myself of the holds that would hold me' is very powerful.  Do you feel it?

From this hour I ordain myself loos’d of limits and imaginary lines,

Going where I list, my own master total and absolute,

Listening to others, considering well what they say,

Pausing, searching, receiving, contemplating,

Gently,but with undeniable will, divesting myself of the holds that would hold me.

I inhale great draughts of space,

The east and the west are mine, and the north and the south are mine.